Things Ireland Should NEVER Do
by sugarhuney2
Summary: Things Ireland should never do... plus tips and stories to go along with each rule! Rated M as some chapters contain smut.


**A/N: Yo! I am now wanting to make some humor hetalia fanfic things! This is of my OC Ireland, and the rules in here will most likely apply to her when I'm writing my other stories! I think that I'll also make explanations for each rule in seprate chapters! I hope your ready for some laughs! Or at least smiling... I'm not exactly the best when it comes to humor... XD Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Hetalia.**

_Things Ireland Should NEVER Do, And Some Helpful Tips_

1. NEVER harrass Scotland about wearing a kilt(skirt!) It will end up badly, as in, a three-hour lecture on how kilts ARE NOT SKIRTS, along with a beating.

2. NEVER take Canada's maple syrup away from him. You will get beaten to a pulp...

3. Never DIS Canada'a maple syrup, or you will get beaten to a pulp.

4. Never HIDE Canada's maple syrup, or, again, you will get beaten to a pulp.

5. DO NOT touch Russia's scarf. Accident or no, you will end up in a hospital...

6. DO NOT try hiding Russia's vodka. It's funny at first... But when he finds out that you hid it, you will end up in the hospital, AGAIN.

7. DO NOT try to give Italy 'The Talk.' It doesn't matter that Romano is your boyfriend, he will STILL beat you down!

8. The Italy brothers DO NOT like to be woken up... (Contains 2 chapters) If you wake them up, you will end up with some sort of broken bone, and a grumpy Italian for the rest of the day...

9. Romano doesn't like it when you pull on his curl! It will end up VERY badly later...

10. Romano doesn't like it when you tug on Italy's curl either... Again, it will end up badly later...

11. DO NOT try to feed Romano potatoes, especially not German potatoes...

12. Romano doesn't like it when you speak in German...

13. Insulting England's cooking results in a bunch of verbal insults, and a whipping.

14. Getting a whipping from England makes Scotland mad, and will make him attack England, and in the end, it never ends well.

15. Do NOT forget Canada. If you do, he will sulk around for a week and refuse to speak to anybody.

16. Scotland, North Ireland, America, and England don't like the fact that you're dating Romano.

17. Scotland, North Ireland, Wales, America, and England don't like it when you show affection to Romano, or when he shows affection back to you.

18. Prussia doesn't like it when you outdrink him...

19. Romano, Spain, Scotland, North Ireland, Wales, America, England, and Canada HATE IT when you come home drunk.

20. If you come home drunk, everyone will KNOW something is wrong, and won't leave you alone until you tell them, which normally results in them pestering you for the next three weeks.

21. If Romano finds out that you worked all week without sleeping or eating AGAIN, you're in a world of trouble, and will have to stay in sights of someone at all times for the next three years.

22. Germany doesn't like it when you tell him that your potatoes are better than his.(Even though it's true!)

23. Italy will cry if you don't eat what he makes for you.

24. Gluing people you don't like to their chairs DOES NOT solve ANY problems. At all. No matter how funny it is.

25. Avoid France AT ALL TIMES. (Unless you feel like being raped again...)

26. Trying to avoid people only makes them want to video tape you even more.

27. Trying to avoid people makes people curious.

28. ALWAYS make Romano try the food he makes you before you eat it yourself.

29. Switzerland will shoot you if Lichtenstein somehow gets ahold of your yaoi again.

30. Switzerland doesn't like it when you tell him his aim is terrible. He will try and prove you wrong.

40. Bragging that you're better at magic than England makes England mad, and ends up in a full-out magic war.

41. Smothering Sealand with love makes Sealand mad.

42. Declaring war on Sealand is NOT amusing to England.

43. Going to a World Meeting drunk or with a hangover will cause World War III.

44. Threatening to castrate France only makes him want you more.

45. NEVER invite England out to drink. NO MATTER WHAT.

46. China is to be treated with respect, as he is basically the oldest nation of us all, which means calling him a girl is bad. (It was a mistake!)

47. Biting your enemy somehow ALWAYS leads to rape...

48. Never let Poland borrow one of your dresses EVER again.

49. Hugging Lativa because of how cute he is will lead Romano to think that you're cheating.

50. Locking Iceland in a closet will not solve anything between you two.

51. Everyone will freak out if you come home covered in a thick red substance...

52. Never give Belarus a sharp object.

53. Never try to find out Ukraine's bra size.

54. Never ask Ukraine how she got so... erm... big...

55. Protests and noises only make them want to rape you more.

56. Never ask France for milk.

57. Drowning your problems out with sweets or alcohol only worries people. And makes you fat.(Which is probably good when you're me...)

58. Asking Lithuania if he's had any luck with Belarus makes Lithuania sad.

59. Borrowing books from Estonia isn't a good idea anymore.

60. Don't seduce someone unless you want information. Otherwise it's considered 'cheating.'

61. Swimming with someone and not having clothes on normally ends up in rape or with an extremely embarrassed friend. (I STILL have NO idea what's wrong with that!)

62. NEVER let an Italian borrow your car. (It will come back totalled...)

63. Never let an Italian drive! (You will die. Trust me.)


End file.
